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October 05 2017


Sorry, the old dough can’t come to the phone right now.


Cause she’s BREAD


A reminder that turning in assignments for partial credit is better than not turning them in at all. It is. Even if you think you’ve done a bad job and are ashamed of your work, or it’s way overdue, you take whatever you can get. Partial credit dramatically improves your grade over a zero, and I’m always astounded by how often even the smartest kids don’t really comprehend that. 60% is worlds better than 0%. Even 10% is going to help you. Letter grades are misleading and are not created equal. “F"s are mathematically valuable. Turn that late assignment in.





yall like “I wanna die” like a broken record but a buncha clowns come over wanting to kill you and youre all shitting your pants. hypocrites you are

the day i let fuckin bozo stab me to death is the day i die, pal

well yeah thats how being stabbed to death works

dont make fun of me dude what if a girl sees this

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protip if you ever eat too much sour/acidic shit and you burn layers off your tongue suck on a tums tablet cause theyre used as stomach antacids but i didnt consider that it would act immediately on acidic surfaces but it does and it provides temporary tongue comfort

this would have been useful information when i murdered my mouth eating ten warheads in a row

hey quick question what was going through your mind when doing that

“urghurhur im love eat sour”

it was a bad call

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Okay I’m pretty sure this happened on tumblr, when tumblr first implemented the little color-changing ‘t’ in the top corner of desktop mode. Someone immediately started complaining that it was ‘ableist’ and ‘dangerous’ to epileptic people. Of course, a bunch of people called them out saying how the colors didn’t change fast enough to cause a seizure and whatnot, fast forward a few days, the person gets blasted like discourse does, and instead of apologizing, they pose as their sister saying that the ‘t’ colors sent them into a seizure and ultimately a coma.

At least, this was what I thought of. Might not be the specific one op is talking about.

“Might not be the specific one op is talking about.”

how many times has this happened

I thought this was about the Hitler kin user

The whom?

Tumblr is a constantly evolving episode of The Twilight Zone

October 03 2017


My only tactic for playing pokemon is to be 20lvls higher than the opponent.




Wasn’t iCarly that guy with the wax wings that flew into the sun and fucking got rest because same

I just realized my phone corrected Icarus to iCarly because I type iCarly more than Icarus okay thanks

I thought this was just a god tier shitpost


Through a series of unfortunate events, you’ve become rather convinced that your religion professor is Lucifer himself.




they say the human body is 70% water. youll be 100% water by the time im done with you.

Wh….. what are you going to do to me…..


it’s all you lesbians ever talk about…….i’m this, gay that

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Why the fuck would you go big when u can go home


please consider: Lup and Taako adopt Ren as their little sister and she’s on a cooking show with them called, “my sister, my sister and me (taako)” 

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“What’s up everybody?! I’m here to seduce you and steal all your shit!”

- me, the elven thief, extremely salty I didn’t roll the stats to play a bard, resorting to chaotic good thievery

October 02 2017

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hang in there buddy.



During the days after Here There Be Gerblins, Lup absolutely refuses to be let go of by her brother under any circumstances. However, due to her limited power in this situation, this manifests as the Umbrastaff falling over and rolling in Taako’s direction whenever he tries to set it down. Taako, presently in his Simple Idiot Wizard phase, fails to recognize that this is Not Typical Spellcasting Focus Behavior.

During the boys first night at the Bureau, the Umbrastaff won’t stop falling against the ladder to his bunk no matter how he sets it back up again and eventually, when he reaches down to fix it yet again, it turns and hooks around his wrist not letting him go. His reaction is simply, “Oh hey little buddy, wanna sleep with ol’ Taako do you? Hey I can’t blame you, who wouldn’t!” and pulls it up into bed with him and sleeps with the Umbrastaff like it’s a teddy bear.

It takes days before Lup lets Taako put her down and several weeks before she lets him out of sight when he’s not holding her. She almost panics when they ask for the boys weapons upon boarding the Rockport Limited and was never happier that she made her magic-absorbing superwand an inconspicuous umbrella than she was at that moment.

Everyone else just sort of accepts that Taako now has a magic umbrella that he has to hang on the towel rack when he takes a shower so it doesn’t constantly knock against the door of the bathroom for the entire time he’s in there. The best guess anyone has is there’s some charm on it that tied the Umbrastaff to it’s owner and a bit of that charm transferred over to Taako. (Lucretia secretly wonders if Lup had it charmed to find Taako if she perished, or if she charmed it to return to her and with Lup not present, the Umbrastaff thought Taako was close enough. Either way Lucretia is glad some part of Lup found Taako again after all these years, even if it’s not under the most desireable circumstances, unaware of the true extent to which she is correct.)

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